Rachel kicked my butt back over here

So, I am a bad blogger. I basically abandoned this idea. I don't know who reads it or who wants to read it. Well Brigid said she'd follow me. Then Rachel linked me from the Guttergirlz site, so Here I am. I know she knew what she was doing. Rachel really knows how to give you a kick in the pants. So, here I am again. Thanks Rachel! So I was chosen as the December Guest Dirty Girl for Guttergirlz. Totally surprised me and made me completely happy. So anyway, due to mishaps in the world of e-mail I got my own gutter post for prompt #12. So, I think it worked out. It made me feel guttery special. Here's a sneak peek of Prompt #13

You're gonna have to wait for the 15th to see the rest of it, so there. I sort of like giving a sneak peek, it's like I hold some special gutter goodness secret. Oh yea, I do!

This is my last month on the Tally DT. I've enjoyed it, but it's gone by so quick. Maybe someday one of their permanent positions will open up and I could apply. I love the site and the people (even though I sucked in November). I'm currently awaiting for my December kit designed by the Ho herself to complete my final submissions. I'm really hoping to do her kit justice! My scrap mojo went mia, but I think I got it back today. Well that's all I have for now. Thanks for stopping by and I'll try to be a better blogger.

Tally Scrapper Design Team Entry #3 (and Final)

I got this one up a bit late in the game. Honestly, it's one I had to step away from a bit. I never really scrapbook my dad. I know I need to, but it brings up so many emotions and it's so hard to do. So, here it is. Journaling Reads: You had just gotten me from the adoption agency. I'm 6 weeks old and you're 40. Your dream of being a father had come true and fate dropped me into the arms of the best Daddy in the world. Who knew you wouldn't see 50? I am so grateful to have this photo that shows your pure joy. I miss you all the time, but I wouldn't trade my life with you for anything. I am grateful to have been that baby that brought you so much joy, and I hope you know how much joy you brought me. I miss you and I love you always.
I don't expect to make the design team, but I am really hoping. I really love it over there and would love to part of the team. They let you scrap real!

Tally Scrapper Design Team Entry #2

Here is my second entry. There is a close up here


Outside Journaling Reads: "Maybe Someday" and is repeated around the edge.

Journaling around the picture reads: a child will occupy this seat and fill the desk with all their little treasures and put stickers on the top

Journaling inside the mini-book reads:
In 2001, Dave & I decided it to have a baby. We were so excited! We started picking names. We started deciding where to put the nursery. A few weeks later, I found this wonderful little desk at a garage sale. Of course I brought it home. I was going to put stuffed animals in the seat initially, I then imagined our toddler coloring at the little desk. Eventually they would be doing homework at it. I had a future planned for the desk. I know that sounds odd, but it's true. I didn't know that it's future would involve sitting there unused. People either plan to have children or not to have children. They don't plan on not being able to have children. That's something you find out after you've already planned on being a parent. It's been almost 8 years since we started trying to have a baby. I have begun to accept that we are not going to have a child. I hope it is something I can come to terms with. Whenever this topic finally enters the back of my mind, something comes along to bring it right back to the front. The news will broadcast something about someone who has abused or even killed their children. These stories always break my heart. Intellectually I know that these people need help, but my heart is not able to recognize that. Then there are the people who question what kind of person I am because i don't have children. They assume I don't want children and judge me based on that. I don't understand why that is something for anyone else to judge. Yet they judge me based on this incorrect assumption and are kind enough to tell me their opinions. Then there are people that tell me everything they know about fertility options, infertility and adoption. We know about these things and these are decisions that are very personal and complicated. They are not guarantees. These decisions can only be made by Dave and myself. But rather than just informing me, they tell me what to do. When I say it's not something I want to talk about right now, they say "of course you want to talk about it." Then there are the stories of " I knew someone who gave up after 11 years of trying and two years later they had a baby." I do hope someday I am one of those people, but I can't put too much hope into that. I don't want to put myself into a position to be upset on a hope like that. My favorite question that has been asked is "are you doing it right?" I have tried the old wives tales. At this point all I can do is have faith that if we are meant to be parents, we will be. If you aren't ever parents, then it's not in God's plan. I will learn to come to terms with this at some point. Now though, there are days I feel inferior as a woman. I understand the difference between women with children and women without children. I accept that there will always be people that judge me for not being a mother. I still hope, but am not counting on anything. To those who have looked at my desk and said "since you can't use it..." No, you can't have it. I might need it someday, if not, at least it makes a good conversation speech.

TallyScrapper DT Entry #1

Rachel said I could post my entries over here (more evidence tally rocks)..So, here's the first one!

This is about our coffee blend and my love it. I made most of the embellishments on this myself (not all of them though).There are no real coffee beans on here, there is real ground coffee though. I overdid the glaze a bit on the edging because I wanted it to pick up the color and create a slight hint of coffee. You can also see it here

Blogging, Tally Scrapper, DT Submissions & Digi Scrapping

Here I am with a blog that nobody shall read....My blog has existed up until now for three reasons:
#1: To say I have one
#2 To run the playlist I like to play in the background
#3 To keep links I like to go to
I am now going to try to do this. Not daily, but maybe, we'll just see where this goes. If you're here, thanks for giving me hope.

So a bit about that playlist...I am a diehard fan of the Faces, Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Rod Stewart, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band and pretty much anything Ron Wood has ever decided to involve himself in. I am also a child of the 80's and that is obvious to anyone who knows me. Lesser know fact: I am a fan of Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and the Bee Gees. I am also convinced that MacArthur's Park is one of the greatest songs ever written. Something about a cake in the rain really speaks to me. So don't even try to figure out my playlist. There are random more current songs that I heard and liked, though I'm never sure how I hear them.

Oh, and I need a blog header, but not sure how to make one. If you can tell me how I would be very grateful!

So I decided to try out for the Tally Scrapper Design team. This is one of those things that won't happen, but no harm in trying. Plus either way, I'm getting some pages done. It is an awesome site. I have already predicted who the winners will be, not posting that though. It's just one of those things I do. So, what is Tally Scrapper you ask.....Well I had done a challenge for the GutterGirlz (see links to the left) and did one about SEX! Well, I wasn't sure where to post it, since I wouldn't be able to post it anywhere I hang, so I e-mailed the gutter and they sent me to TallyScrapper. I joined and posted my layout. That was my intention. Post, go away. I couldn't go away though. The chicks over there rock! I can post anything and they're not freaking. They're supportive. It really is an awesome little community. Had to get a mini dictionary, but that's all good. They do a lot of fun stuff and the whole group is really welcoming. There's a chick who loves coffee and hates Thickers. To be honest, that's like finding my twin. I've also been claimed by one of the girls as "hers, " which I'm all good with. It's good to know who you belong to so there's no confusion. :-) There is of course a ton of rockin' people over there (one claims she's not a supermodel, but I know she is), don't have enough space to list 'em all. They do real life scrapbooking too, not that happy isn't real, but sometimes life ain't happy and Love when People scrap it! . I would post my pages I'm submitting for the Design Team, but I can't remember if I'm allowed to! You'll just have to wait! Oh, on their button, they let me claim I'm a creative genius, so that is just more evidence of their coolness. They also make some awesome kits: The current on is Vintage Brew by latte_grande. I totally love it and can't wait to play with it some more. I also got Outdoor Orchard by I don't know. But it is also awesome. I used both on one of my submissions so far.

My first digital layout won a challenge at TallyScrapper. I was totally stoked about this. I am not a digital scrapper. I like paper. I like the mess, I like the feel of paper and I like real buttons. I love looking at digi, but it's really not my thing. I decided to do a layout for a challenge though. I created it at ScrapBlog which is an awesome place for digital virgins like me. Here is my entry:
Journaling Reads:
I remember when my parents told me to turn down that trash. I thought they were uncool. I swore to always be hip when it came to music. Not even 40 years old and I listen to musicians that were established before my time. I think very few current people have true talent. These men have proved themselves to be legends at what they do. They set the standard and with each new album continue to raise the bar. I never grow tired of their music. It is truly art. I thank them for providing me with over 20 years of entertainment. I thank them for for still recording today. If I ever met them I would tell them.....U Rock!

So anyway, Thanks for stopping by my blog and checking out my ramblings. I'm gonna try to keep this updated.